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Ada apa dengan Khadija?

Apabila melawat Muzium Kesenian Islam (Islamic Arts Museum) di Kuala Lumpur baru-baru ini saya berkesempatan untuk membeli 2 buah buku kanak-kanak yang berjudul ‘Marriage of Muhammad‘ dan ‘The Year of Grief‘.

Buku yang pertama berkenaan hubungan Rasullullah (SAW) dengan Khadija (RA) dan buku kedua pula kisah hidup Rasullullah selepas kematian Khadija. Kedua-dua buku ini diterjemah dan diterbit di Malaysia oleh Pustaka Yamien pada tahun 2006. Menarik cara penceritaan kisah-kisah ini walaupun bahasanya masih boleh dirapikan lagi oleh pihak pengarang.

Dan kalau saya diberi peluang merombak buku ‘Marriage of Muhammad‘, akan saya buang ayat ini dari mukasurat 18 kerana ia tidak relevan langsung dan menganggap wanita berusia 40-an sebagai sudah hilang kejelitaan mereka: Although she was 40 years old, Khadijah r.a. was still beautiful.

Sudah beberapa kali saya membaca kedua-dua buku ini, maklumlah buku kanak-kanak yang hanya lebih kurang 20 mukasurat sahaja. Terfikir panjang pula perihal hubungan Rasullullah dengan Khadija. Buku-buku ini jelas menekankan keistimewaan Khadija sebagai seorang individu, usahawan, wanita, isteri dan sahabat akrab. Tapi kalau dilihat keadaan sosial ummah hari ini seolah-olah Khadija tidak pernah wujud dalam sejarah untuk dijadikan tauladan.

Cuba kita bayangkan Khadija hidup sesama kita pada zaman sekarang. Apa agaknya akan dikatakan oleh sanak-saudara apabila mendengar ada usahawan wanita cemerlang dan kaya-raya yang juga seorang balu berumur 40-an telah jatuh hati dengan staff-nya yang berumur 25 tahun? Kemungkinan besar wanita itu akan dilabel sebagai cougar (wanita berusia yang minat kepada lelaki muda). Si lelaki pula akan disyaki mata duitan yang sanggup di-queen control.

Apa pula jika wanita itu yang masuk meminang dan bukan sebaliknya? Sedangkan zaman sekarang pun pengantin perempuan sekadar disembunyikan di sudut dinding dalam majlis akad nikah, apatah lagi nak  melamar suami seperti Khadija.

Menurut buku kanak-kanak ‘Marriage of Muhammad‘ tadi, Khadija telah menghantar deligasi meminang yang diketuai bapa saudaranya (Amr al-Asad) dan seorang sepupu perempuan beragama Kristian-Nasrani (Waraqa bint Naufal). Bak kata golongan hip-hop, “Oh, snap!”

Khadija releks saja, kita pula bagaimana? Menurut sumber lain, yang pertama dihantar oleh Khadija untuk bertanyakan soal kahwin kepada Rasullullah adalah BFF-nya (Best Friend Forever), seorang perempuan bernama Nafisa. Ini sedikit-sebanyak memberi gambaran pergaulan pada zaman itu. Sedangkan Nafisa boleh berjumpa terus dengan Rasullullah untuk menyampaikan hasrat Khadija inikan pula kita pada zaman ini yang menghendakkan kaunter bayaran berasingan di kedai awam.

Apa dah jadi? Kalau wujud kereta pada zaman itu kemungkinan besar Nafisa memandu sendiri ke rumah Rasullullah. Tapi hari ini di Arab Saudi wanita nak memandu pun tak boleh, apa lagi nak berjumpa bakal tunang BFF sendiri. Malah, tak perlu nak membayangkan situasi sebegitu. Cuba saja bayangkan samada Khadija boleh wujud di tanahairnya hari ini sepertimana beliau wujud pada zaman dahulu.

Contohnya, jika Khadija wujud hari ini di tanahairnya bolehkah beliau mengarah pekerjanya yang bernama Muhammad untuk pergi berniaga di Syria bertemankan seorang lagi pekerja yang bukan muhrim bernama Maisara? Adakah dunia perniagaan masyarakat Muslim hari ini akan terbuka berdagang secara saksama dengan usahawan wanita berkarisma seperti Khadija? Adakah Khajida dapat bergerak secara bebas untuk melaksanakan segala urusannya?

Terfikir panjang saya dalam persoalan ini dan tertanya, ke mana arah ummah hari ini jika ruang untuk wanita seperti Khadija seolah-olah semakin sempit? Namun, wanita inilah yang diberi kasih sayang dan kepercayaan menyeluruh oleh Rasullullah. Malah, dalam buku kanak-kanak tadi yang berjudul ‘The Year of Grief‘, Khadija disebutkan sebagai “kubu pertahanan” di mana Rasullullah berselindung.

Selama 24 tahun mereka berkahwin Rasullullah tidak pernah mengambil isteri lain. Dan apabila Khadija meninggal dunia pada umur 65 tahun Rasullullah dikatakan patah hati dan berada dalam keadaan bersedihan yang berpanjangan. Tahun itu juga Rasullullah kehilangan bapa saudaranya, Abu Talib. Maka tahun itu dikenali dalam sejarah Islam sebagai “Tahun Kesedihan”.

Aisha narrated: Never did I feel jealous of the wives of Allah’s Apostle (PBUH) but in the case of Khadija, although I did not have the privilege to meet her. [Aisha] further added that whenever Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) slaughtered a sheep, he said: Send it to the companions of Khadija.

I annoyed him one day and said, “It is Khadija only who always prevails upon your mind”. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said: Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself.(Sahih Muslim, 31:5972)

Comments 10

  1. Post
    Author

    Hi, Baz. Indeed, there’s a likelihood Nafisa and Maisara did not travel on their own but there’re a couple things that remain significant in this story vis-a-vis them/Khadija:

    They were appointed by Khadija to take charge of important tasks. In Maisara’s case, she was asked to be Rasullullah’s “wingman” on that business trip. Contrast that with Islamic Development Bank in Riyadh having only 1 female junior staff (in 2007). In Nafisa’s case, it was an important personal favour. Even if she had gone with a teman, the task to speak to Rasullullah about the matter was given to her specifically. Waraqa on the other hand was sent to Rasullullah with Khadija’s uncle. Even then, Khadija sent Waraqa and not another male relative.

    I believe these appointments by Khadija are significant in Muslim history. And she was an important person to Rasullullah; her position in Islam is placed most high. Looking at the greater Muslim ummah today it doesn’t seem like we’ve taken note and learnt from her conduct. On the contrary, I’m sure in many places (including Khadija’s own homeland) parents would freak out if their daughters wanted to go about the same way as Khadija and her girls mentioned above.

    What do you think?

  2. from learning sirah nabi from school when i was young we were told that maisara is indeed a female. however i have another point to ask. don’t you think that there’s a possibility that nafisa or maisara did not just go by themselves to talk/travel with the Prophet? as a business unit maisara and the Prophet might have travelled with a few more staff, and Nafisa might not just met with the Prophet by herself, she might have asked a friend or a family member along.

    these are just little background things that are not told to us.

  3. Your findings can change the world, unfortunately Malays stop reading (except URTV, Mangga, Utusan Malaysia & so on) after they finished school and what they see of you is what they assume of what are you trying to prove. They already got a lot of sources, of course the one who wearing scarf, tutup aurat and from popular religious figures, mostly the famous faces from the ‘ceramah politik’. Besides, if stories like Rasulullah begging to Ali R.A not to indulge in polygamy if she wants to marry Fatimah R.A (please correct me if I’m wrong, I dont know precisely, from more sources, the whole picture of it) is make known widely throughout Malay women, most male seniors will.. u know what i mean. Lastly, you know the problem of our society. There are very good of making excuses, denial but never at coming up with fair solution to both parties (man & woman).

    Keep writing ya, it’s brilliant.. Oh, 40 yrs & looks old only applies to Malay society. Can’t blame the food heaven title we had for many decades. I always believe even good things have its bad consequences. LOL!

  4. How absolutely true, and sad that society have taken many steps backwards. Refreshing observation Juans!

  5. Post
    Author

    Thanx for reading, everyone.

    Q: As I mentioned on Twitter the book itself refers to Maisara as “he”, as well as other sources online. But a few days ago I also came across sources describing Maisara as Khadija’s trusted servant girl. A check online tells us the Semitic/Arabic name “Maisara” itself is feminine, and means “one who lives an effortless life” (ironic, considering she was a servant). Others say it’s a variant of the Hebrew name Sara, which means “princess”. Quite girly, ya.

    I won’t be surprised if over the years the character of a servant girl was turned into a servant boy to avoid the awkward question, “Muhammad travelled the Arabian desert on an assignment with a non-muhrim girl?”. At the same time, I’m prepared to accept Maisara as male, as I should any girl in Malaysia named Bujang or Teruna :]

    brown eyed girl: Kan?

  6. I remember back in school, I learned that Maisara was a man but you’ve said that there are other sources citing Maisara as a female servant. This only means I have to do more reading. Nonetheless, thanks for answering my query, Juana 🙂

  7. Great article! I’m almost 40 and people remark that I look young for my age. I wonder if they think that 40 year olds should have 1 foot in the grave already?

  8. Dear Juana,

    Your contemporary take on this amazing moment in history is wicked!

    Oh and, …’disembunyikan di sudut dinding…’ is a classic!

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